Wait. On a cell phone? Who knew 212 was even available for wireless! Now, I am intensely jealous.  The prestigious 212 is not an easy area code to get ahold of.  Ever.  The only way I can think of obtaining the prefix would be if I knew someone who was about to give up his or her phone line altogether and was willing to impart the number to me in a will.  Grave scenario, but there is gravity to this situation. 

Two one two carries a weighty connotation of old school Manhattan, majesty, and unreachable aloofness.  Although I’m not a Manhattan native, I need to prove I’ve lived here longer than the newcomers.  So how to get ahold of 212….

Here are a few options:

1. Ebay.  Even today, there are 16 listings for a 212 number for sale.  The prices range from about $40 for a random 212 to $2500 for a REAL treat – 212 with repeating numbers.  Browse often and I’m sure you’ll be able to uncover a steal.  Ebay sellers usually are selling T Mobile prepaid phones that carry the SIM card with a 212 phone number attach.  Just activate the phone and switch the number over to your existing wireless carrier - which for me, would be the dreadful Verizon Wireloser.

2. Craig.  He really does provide one-stop shopping!  Craigslist has a few entries for 212 numbers for sale, but this is a bit more expensive than ebay ($100 to $3000). I think you can probably talk this number down if you are really interested.

3. T Mobile, Sprint, etc.  Just go to your local wireless store and ask.  Be polite and charming.  If they like you they will help you.  Some 212 numbers are floating around and if they can grab you one it’ll be perrrfect.

As for me, I think I’m doing the Ebay purchase. 

Pick up these:

1. Vortex by Honeywell.  I know, it’s old school and everyone probably had one for their college dorm (ever since that fateful day it appeared in the back to the school section of Bed Bath and Beyond).  Whatever, it’s a standard and a staple.  If you want to have a small, circular fresh breath of paradise then you should go down to PC Richards and pick one up.  They are only like $9.99.

2. Tower fan (most varieties).  These babies stack.  They fit into the corners of the room and send powerful gusts of air from window to wall.  Or wall to wall (if you aren’t lucky enough to own a window).

Now, before I reach for my pillow, I make sure these two are strategically placed.  The Vortex is good for one’s facial area and the tower fan can operate the lower body region.  They make a doable duo, especially when AC is unavailable. 

#1. Do not pick up your phone when someone calls you. 

You can take it out, look at the caller ID, figure out who is calling you, but it stops there.  We are way too busy to talk.  And why talk, when you can text?

After the caller leaves a voicemail, either: A) text back a few minutes later with a fun, terse response that shows how witty yet preoccupied you are. or B) redial the missed call quickly and then hang up.  This will show that you attempted to contact them and they will have no excuse to say that you are ignoring them.

I’ve got to admit, texting is 110% preferred above voice on voice contact.  It’s easy, quick, straight to the point.  No one gives each other the run around.  You simply say what you feel: “Ready?”  “Yes.” “Ok.” “Now?.” ”Sounds good.”

Perf.